UnSelfish

Day 3 on the Love dare is about selfishness. It states that selfishness is the opposite of love and that whatever you put your time, energy and resources into is what's most important to you. The dare for the day is to buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today".

I've been thinking about this for a while, and it seems the love dare also helps you practice or discover multilinugualism in the "Love languages". If you're not familiar with the love languages, they are: words of affirmation, acts of service, giving gifts, quality time, physical touch. You can click on the link to take a quiz and see which language is your dominant language. I believe to a certain extent, we are all multilingual when it comes to love languages. I've found I certainly am. While my primary love language is physical touch and my secondary language is quality time(both of which make a long distance relationship that much more difficult), I've come to realize I do need words of affirmation. I like to know I'm doing a good job. I like to know how my significant other feels about me, and why. Acts of service shout loud and clear that I am loved. Emptying that overflowing trash can, washing that sink of dirty dishes, or just balancing the checkbook. Those all shout "I love you and care about you" to me. The last one on my list has to be gift giving. I sometimes feel uncomfortable when someone spends a lot of money on me. I would rather have something simple and heartfelt. If it took time to make it or get it, that much better. My favorite birthday present this year was a photo bracelet my children made for me with photos in it from our trip this summer to Oregon. It had photos of each of the kids, and some of the lighthouses we visited. It's a treasure to me, and means so much. To me, it's the thought that went with the gift rather than the gift itself, but lets face it, we all like to be remembered and made to feel special.

I think the key to this love dare today are the words "I was thinking of you". Not something just thrown together or picked up at the supermarket on the way home, but something that took thought, planning, something that had you going out of your way to do something your spouse would recognize as unselfish.