Cherish

Today’s reading is about cherishing your spouse. The book gives two examples, in one you have a car that is getting older, it needs a lot of repair and you decide to not invest more money into it, but go buy a newer car, after all, cars are made to wear out right? The second example is of getting into an accident and crushing your hand. You would use whatever resources you had to rehabilitate that hand so it was useful again, even go through painful surgery and physical therapy. Can you see the parallel here? Marriages are sometimes treated like used cars, and we trade up or trade in for a ‘new model’. The point I believe they’re trying to make is that you’re supposed to do for your spouse (ie: the car) what you would do for yourself (ie: your hand). I admit, I’m not fond of the comparison, but I understand the sentiment. You’re supposed to treat your spouse as well as you would treat yourself, and if your spouse is hurting, or grieving, or struggling, or rejoicing, or being rewarded, you should be there with them helping them through it, just as you would do for yourself.

When I look back at two failed marriages, I think “Did I do this? Did I cherish my partner? Did I do everything for them that I could to make sure they were getting what they needed?” In the first case, I can't really say, all I know is that I was the one who left. I left because my sanity was at stake there, and as a result, my very life. That made me that much more determined in the second marriage to make it work. In the second marriage, I replaced the engine, transmission, alternator, tires, battery, wiper blades, fuses, and gave it a new paint job, and still, that wasn’t enough. It still drove itself to the salvage yard and refused to leave. What I can learn from that experience is that putting your all into the repair is worth it. It may not make the car continue to function, but it makes you stronger, more compassionate, and more capable of love.

Today’s task is to do something that will let your spouse know you are cherishing them. Again, remember their love language and try to speak to them in that language.