Egg Nog

So, since we've exhausted the subject of Oreos, I thought I'd ask about another one of my holiday favorites: Egg Nog. Personally, I LOVE egg nog. I think the nog should be available year round. It's probably a good thing it isn't, because I'd weigh 200 lbs if it were. On the way to my mom's house for Thanksgiving dinner, the kids and I stopped at McDonalds to get Egg Nog Milkshakes... the season just isn't complete for me without Egg Nog milkshakes, real Egg Nog (the non alcoholic kind) and Pumpkin pie. I'm also sort of wondering if this is a regional thing. So, hey all you Florida people, do you drink Egg Nog down there? :)

Oreos

How do you eat an Oreo? Is there a "right" way to do it?

I never really thought I was an Oreo lover, but lately.. I've been enjoying eating them with my kids. (We bought the holiday kind with the peppermint frosting.) We were all sitting on the couch watching TV the other day and eating Oreos when I discovered that we all eat them the same way. Here is how we do it:

1. Pull apart the two chocolate wafers carefully, trying to keep all the icing on one wafer. Set the 'clean' wafer aside.

2. Gently peel off the icing from the chocolate wafer(s). This is usually done with your tongue and/or teeth but you NEVER scrape the cookie with your teeth.. just nibble no licking even. If you have to.. get a butter knife and loosen the frosting from the wafer. Eat the frosting as you get it off the wafer.

3. Repeat 1 and 2 for all cookies you are planning on eating. Then stack the frosting free wafers on top of each other (if you have 3 oreos, you'll have 6 wafers)

4. Eat each frosting free wafer one at a time, taking small bites and letting each bite melt in your mouth.

We do not dunk, we do not scrape, we do not lick. We enjoy the pristine chocolate wafer and savor every bite. :)

So... how do YOU eat an Oreo?

Blessings

This morning in church we sang "Count your blessings". For those of you unfamiliar with the tune, it basically says when you're feeling low, count your blessings and realize how much God has done for you. This year, as I approach the actual holiday, my heart is overflowing with thanksgiving for all the blessings I've received in the past year. So, I thought I might take the opportunity to count as many as I can think of off the top of my head.

1. My relationship with God is deeper, richer and more solid than ever before in my life.
2. The custody battle for the kids is finally over (it only took 3+ years)
3. I get to see my kids almost 50% of the time and be an every day part of their lives.
4. I enjoy the love and commitment of the most honest, decent, honorable man I know.
5. My home is beautiful, clean and peaceful (that counts as three because I REALLY needed this space to be clean, beautiful and peaceful this year to heal my heart).
8. I'm able to support myself financially.
9. I have a job that while sometimes frustrating, I am good at.
10. My health is overall good.
11. I'm making friends in my new town.
12. I'm catching up with old friends online.
13. I've resolved a lot of issues from my childhood and my past relationships.
14. I know myself and like myself better than I ever have.
15. The future looks promising.

That's good for right now..

What are YOU thankful for this year? Care to count your blessings?

Recovering

Planning for a vacation and then recovering from taking the vacation (especially when it means writing substitute plans and then coming back to the aftermath of those carefully written plans not entirely followed) is sometimes not worth the vacation. That wasn't really the case for me, I've been planning this vacation for months, but getting back into the groove of 'regular' life (to the tune of a 7:15 am staff meeting) was brutal today. Plus, I'm recovering from the I miss my honey blues. It will lessen with time, unfortunately.

Arrivals

The love of my life will arrive via airplane today for a little mini getaway. This will be the first time we've been in Colorado together. So, we're going skiing, I'm taking him to Beau Jo's pizza to experience a "mountain pie", and then we'll be hanging around my house for a few days. Yes, I have a few honey do projects in mind, but I'm really just looking forward to having some much needed face time.

Time

Two themes that seem to keep repeating themselves in almost every single devotional or scripture that I read lately are "Wait" and "Forgive".

WAIT

What am I waiting for? Most importantly, I'm waiting for God's timing in two specific areas. The first area is in relationship. There's this amazing man that I have the privilege to know and love that I'd like to spend the rest of my life with, but in order to spend the rest of my life with him, I have to actually be in his physical presence. Since he lives 1700 miles away right now, that's a little hard to accomplish. It's that whole song about you can dip your foot in the pool but you can't take a swim. I know it's there, I know it will happen, it's just the waiting for it to start that is hard. The reason I think I have to wait for the next stage in this relationship is because I'm also waiting for healing. I've worked through a lot already, but there are still areas that are stubborn, hard to get over or around.. because they're processes I have to go through. Going through something is much harder than going around it or getting over it. One of those areas is forgiveness.

FORGIVE

Forgiveness has always meant to me that I somehow have to release the other person of the responsibility of their actions, or that I have to be ok with what they did, or that I have to be friends with them again. When we were children, we were taught to say "I'm sorry" to people even when we didn't feel sorry for what we had done. The automatic response that was expected was "I forgive you" even when forgiveness really hadn't taken place. Forgiveness is more than just saying the words (much as an apology is more than just saying I'm sorry)

So, if it's not just speaking the right words, What is it?

Forgiveness is a way of releasing yourself from the pain you have experienced at the hands of others. It is a release from judgment, including your judgment of yourself. The hardest exercise in forgiveness I've experienced so far, is forgiving myself for inflicting pain upon my children when I divorced their dad 10 years ago.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to be ok with what the other person did to you. It does not mean you can change what happened or erase the consequences of what they did. What’s done is done. All you can do is release yourself, and stop re-living the pain. Stop wallowing in it.

Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else, but to free yourself from the continuatiual pain and anger. It is a gift to yourself of peace of mind, peace in your relationships with others, and a clear perception of yourself and a clean slate for the future.

So, why is that so hard to do? Probably because it takes time. Just when you think there's no pain left, no area you haven't mulled over, worked through or given over to God, something else pops up and you have to go through it all again. I'm not saying I will ever be able to perfectly forgive, but I can diligently work through the past and come to terms with what has transpired in my life and let those lessons strengthen my future. It all just takes time. Since I seem to have a lot of that on my hands lately, this must be what I'm supposed to be learning right now.

Grace

Today the speaker in church talked about things that are beyond our control. Things we can't change, no matter how hard we try. Paul called this his 'thorn'. This thorn ensured daily reliance on God's grace to get him through the day. It left me asking the question.. What is my thorn? What is it that drives me daily to seek God's grace.. or what SHOULD be driving me to daily reliance on grace? The past years have brought much perseverance into my life, much waiting, much grace. I remember crying out to God about this time last year that I was at my limit. I couldn't do it anymore.. I couldn't stand the life situation I was in and begged for something to change. I begged for deliverance. He answered so quickly and so completely so as to form no doubt that it was His doing, and not my own. He continues to sustain me, giving me what I need, but not all I want. Keeping that reliance on His grace ever present. For that, I am grateful.

Lessons

Recently I've reconnected with a LOT of people from my past. Friends from High School (and some not-so-friends from High School) Church camp friends, college friends. People I forgot I even knew. It's amazing the mix of people that have been brought into my life one way or another. They've each taught me lessons... some very valuable, others that I could have learned from anyone, they just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes I wonder what lessons they might have learned from me. What are others learning from you? I have a sign in my classroom that says "You're someone's role model whether you realize it or not". It helps me be more mindful of my actions.

A new leaf

No, really.. I have new leaves ALL over my yard this week after hours of raking last weekend... but I digress. This really isn't about that. Nor is it about the election held here yesterday which ran on a campaign of 'change' for America. (Change just for the sake of change is not always a good thing).

This is about me. (Of course it is, this is MY blog after all!) Something has changed over the last few months, and I'm not sure what. I have less enthusiasm about just about everything in my life. I honestly don't care about doing much more than making it through another day. So, today, I decided I was tired of living that way.. and made my own personal change.

They say to 'fake it till you feel it' in some instances, and that's exactly what I attempted today. I attempted to be cheerful, to be interested in what was going on within and outside of my classroom. I walked briskly and with purpose, and I tried to turn over a new leaf. I've been fighting 'burnout' in education this year fiercely. I need something different to happen. I think that something different needs to be me.

I'm still figuring this out, so it may take a while, but at least getting through another school day wasn't as painful as pulling out my fingernails one by one. It's got to get better.. or I've got to find another profession.