Bending

"The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield" James 3:17

Stubbornness is something I inherited from my father….. and my mother. Today’s reading is about letting go of all those little fights and disagreements. Give your spouses’ ideas and thoughts full weight. Let them know that you’re on the same team.. not enemies to combat each other, but teammates trying to solve a problem together, with different perspectives and different communication styles. Some issues like child rearing, even having children can be huge issues that you don’t want to just give in easily on, but they can be worked out with love and mutual respect. Other issues that are of a moral nature, or go against your relationship with God must be non-negotiable.

I’ve married two extremely stubborn men. Both were professing faith in Christ. Both seemed to want to work things out. Both were fiercely controlling and manipulative. Both marriages failed. In both these marriages, I felt like we might have been in the same boat, but we were paddling in totally different directions. I think disagreements are fine, and discussion is good as long as you keep in mind that you’re in this together, not fighting each other. As I watched my dad and step-mom work out communication difficulties this weekend (projects always bring out those differences in ideas and ways of communicating them) I was glad to see that they’ve developed a way of respecting each other’s point of view and disagreeing (for the most part) in love. Not only was it good to see my dad be loving, but it was good to see him be loved.

My prayer is that I will remember that my spouse is not an enemy to defeat, but my ally in the closest sense of the word. My most trusted adviser and confidant. Treating him with anything but utter respect is diminishing the strength of that relationship.

The task for today is to give in on an area of disagreement with your spouse. This doesn’t mean a big area, but just a little one.