Today’s focus is on Jealousy. Two types of jealousy are described. The first is righteous jealousy, or jealousy that is legitimate. This is the type of jealousy you get when your spouse (or significant other) gets involved with someone else, when their attention, affection or loyalty moves from you to another person. This is also the type of jealousy that God is described to have toward his people. The other type of jealousy that is described is better categorized as envy. You want what someone else has, whether possessions, talents, or position. You can envy your neighbor, you can envy your co-workers and you can even envy your spouse. Today encourages you to become your spouse’s biggest fan, to celebrate with them their accomplishments and to help them achieve their dreams.
I’m not sure I can be totally objective about where I’m at with this one. I know I struggle with what I see as legitimate jealousy. I don’t want my spouse (or significant other) to lavish attention or spend time with another woman. I have a hard time accepting that they can be ‘just friends’. (Partly because I think my honey is the greatest in the world and that every other woman must see how great he is and want him.. after all, I do!) Yet, I’m a total hypocrite in this area because I’ve had male ‘friends’ that I’ve enjoyed spending time with in my life, and nothing has ever come of those friendships, except.. well… friendship. (I don’t really subscribe to the When Harry Met Sally view of men and women in friendships). So, this part of the jealousy thing hit home for me a little. But, I’m not sure the type of jealousy I experience is a bad thing. On the other hand, I don’t think I struggle at all with the illegitimate type of jealousy. I don’t look at what others have and envy it. I don’t envy my spouse’s (or significant other’s) accomplishments, position, possessions or talent. Heck, it’s part of the reason I love them. More than anything, I want them to be happy and live a fulfilling life.
Lyza
- Lyza Lynne
- My own journey, observations and experiences in breaking out of the chains that used to hold me.
2 comments:
I'm in that boat with you. I don't envy my significant others their things, talents, etc. I have issue with sharing them as a whole,a nd have to learn to let go of that. I recently realized I used to date men who have little to no female friends or real respect for women at all. Why? It was easy. I had -nothing- to live up to, and I was safe.
Hard thing to face, and then decide I should try the other side. Especially when I tend towards selfishness with those I care for.
Also, I really enjoy reading your blog. It wakes me up and makes me feel I have hope. It's refreshing reading about someone who's strong in their faith and can still love after divorce.
I've always had trouble with jealousy. I would say it's the third kind, unrighteous jealousy. Jealousy based on no proof or reason or anything. Just being afraid of your partner being near someone of the opposite sex when you aren't there. It took ending a relationship for me to really wake up and try to be better. I'm not saying I'm perfect now, but I'm a lot better. It also helps when the other person is a little jealous to. It makes you feel like they want you to themselves, but not in a smothering way.
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