"Whisper" meme

Ok, So, I'm tagged by my friend Ian to do this meme thing, and while I've been blogging more and more lately, I don't venture out much past my safe little circles. So, this is a stretch for me, and please recall, I'm not a writer.


The rules:
1. Make a change in the paragraph below. It can be as little as a single word or almost every word, so long as we can still recognize the paragraph you received from the person who tagged you, not the original paragraph.

My paragraph:

She came from the wrong side of the tracks, her pride in one hand and his addiction in the other. Her name was Desiree and she'd never called upon him before when she needed the business. He'd said he pitied her, just like he had so many other girls before her. She cursed him, and then she got down to business. “Like a dog returns to it’s vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.” - Proverbs 26:11

2. Next, tag three people to make a change in the paragraph you wrote, and link to them.

3. Also link to the person who tagged you (me) so the chain will not be broken.

4. Go to the original paragraph at Alice's Restaurant and let her know you did it so she can link back to you. For extra credit, head over to AliceAudrey.wordpress.com around June 9th for the contest based on this meme. You could win a $20 gift certificate!

I'm tagging: sghoul, John Wayne's Girl, and T.H. Elliott


For reference:
Ian's paragraph:
He came from across the dark prairie, his axe in one hand and her heart in the other. His name was Ricardo and he'd never called upon her before when she needed the business. He'd said he pitied her, just like he had so many other girls before her. She cursed him, and so he cut out her heart. Like a scavenger dog, he slunk off to find his next victim.

PhoenixHearse's paragraph:
He came from across town, his ego in one hand and her heart in the other. His name was Ricardo and he never called her when she needed him most. He said he pitied her, along with all the other girls. Instead of cursing him, she took her heart and her dog, and ran off to Poughkeepsie.