On God's Clock

This week has been really hard for me. I finally realized that sometimes, even when God lays all things out in a seemingly perfect time frame (and then clues you in to it) that it's not set in stone. By this time next week many things in my life should have been settled. Now, none of those things will have been finalized.

Trust is harder than Faith or Belief. Faith is defined as "confidence or trust in a person or thing" that seems to be passive, inactive. The definition of belief is much the same: "confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof." Yep, I can sit right back here in my comfort zone and say I have faith or I believe, but trust is different. Trust, defined as "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." Ok, wow. That recognizes your loss of control of the situation and forces you to rely on someone else. In this case, God. Why is that so hard? He is after all, the one who made us, and made this place we live in and provided a means of salvation. Do I somehow think I'm bigger than God? I have a better idea? No, but it's always a bit disappointing when plans fall through, when dreams are postponed. I've come to trust that in those moments, it is one more way in which God is lovingly holding out his hands and saying "my provision, my timing, my plan is what is absolutely best for you, because I love you with a jealous, everlasting love and want you to grow into the person I intended you to be".

So, here I am, waiting for the race to start. In the moment between the tick and the tock, I put my trust in the keeper of the clock.