Wait

Today the overwhelming message I have received is “wait”. But not just to wait impatiently, or to wait in vain, but to wait with great expectation. Wait with confident assurance. This morning in my women’s Bible study class this quote jumped out at me. “We are never standing still, we are either going forward or backward, but when it seems like we are standing still, that is when we are waiting on God, and in that time of waiting, we are actively preparing for what He has in store for us”. That was a reminder I needed while I wait and prepare for the next adventure in my life.

Then in the sermon, the visiting speaker talked about betrothal and how in ancient Jewish customs, the man would ask the girl’s father for her hand in marriage and if the father agreed, and the daughter agreed, then the two exchanged rings and the betrothal period began. The groom would go away, back to his home and prepare a place (build a house – usually an addition to his father’s house or on his father’s property) for the bride. He also worked to raise the bride price that was decided upon by her father. While he was gone, the bride would prepare herself to become a wife, to have all the linens, utensils, bedding, clothing and household items she would need (her hope chest). She would be actively preparing while waiting, not only her material possessions, but her heart to become the wife of her betrothed. This betrothal period was legally binding (Mary and Joseph were betrothed when Jesus was born, and in order to get out of that circumstance, Joseph would have had to give Mary a certificate of divorce). The bride might wait 2 years (or more) for her groom to return. He would return to claim his bride, and expect her to be ready and waiting for him. There would ensue a wedding and a 7 day feast marking the ‘honeymoon’ period. They would then return to the home the groom had prepared for them. The illustration the Bible uses to describe the relationship between Christ and the Church is that of a bridegroom who has gone to prepare a place for his beloved, and when he returns, He will expect us to be ready and waiting, that we will have been preparing all along for His return. Not flailing around or getting tired and wandering off, but diligently working at what He asked us to do.

This applies to so many areas of life both spiritually and in practical life. I waited a long time to have more custodial time with my children. While I waited, I wasn’t always patient, I wasn’t always diligent and sometimes I wasn’t even sure it would ever happen. But, I was able to continue to wait, to put my trust in God and to do whatever I could in the meantime to be there for my kids. I didn't have a choice.. I was fully committed to being their mom the moment they were born. I couldn't just decide to walk away and cease being their mom. So, I had to continue to do what I could despite the distance and legal issues. That obstacle was one of the biggest I’ve ever had to overcome in my life. I thought it had made me a patient person. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to wait placidly and calmly and do ‘nothing’. My personality just isn’t one to sit still or stand back when there’s something to be accomplished.

So, while I confidently wait for the man in my life, I am preparing. I’m looking over the fractures and fissures and some gaping holes in my heart and spackling and painting and doing some major remodeling in some areas. I am working at getting rid of all the excess garbage, de-cluttering and organizing so that my beloved won’t be constantly tripping over the chaos and brokenness inside. Never before have I wanted so much to present myself as whole and radiant to my groom.

In the past, I thought that whatever circumstance or brokenness I was facing, my spouse would help heal. That just being married would solve many of my problems. I know I have the strength to solve these problems with God’s help, and none other. I know that when I face my groom, I will do so with no gaping holes, no peeling paint or questionable construction.