Goals

It's good to have goals. As I look back over the month, One of my goals was to blog more consistantly. I tried to post every day, but didn't quite make that goal. Hopefully this month of writing more will help me open up some of the things I've been trying to say for a long time, but just couldn't. If you're one of the faithful few (and I mean few) who read here regularly, thanks. You're the important people in my life. For those just dropping by, hope to see more of you in the future. Thanks for coming on the journey this far.

Sunshine and Bananas

Whether real or manufactured, Sunshine really lifts my spirits and brightens my mood :) I'm so looking forward to summer.

I also love eating bananas. Not only are they good for you, but they're the only food I know of that trisect perfectly. I love taking a bite of banana and pushing my tongue up against the end of it until it perfectly breaks into three equal pieces. Yeah, I'm weird... I like me that way. :)

Count Down

Opening night of the play is Thursday this week. Last night was the full dress/tech rehearsal. Things went really well, better than I expected even. There are a few tweaks we need, the indoor set for Loxley Manor looks very drab, so we need something on the walls. I think everything else is pretty good though. At any rate, it will get done, and be over on Saturday, and life can once again resume it's 'normal' level of busyness and stress. :)

Letting Go

So, last night the STBX asked for the wedding rings back. He had given me two sets, the set we got married with, and then a second set at 5 years, that was bigger, nicer, and matched his in color more (he wore Titanium, I had yellow gold on the first ring, the second set was white gold). At first I fought it, resisted, cried, didn't want to give them back, but then I realized, they're just pieces of metal and stone, just things that represented something that ultimately failed. Dashed dreams, wrecked hopes. So, I sent them back today. I think the part that made me the most upset was that he started claiming he never wanted the divorce. He insinuated that I'd planned it all along. I'm sure he was drunk as he was emailing me. He may not even remember the conversation, but he usually does. At any rate, it's just one more piece of baggage I don't have to deal with anymore. I need to let go, and not hold too tightly to the things of this world. They are after all, just things.

Unless the Lord builds the house....

Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. ~ Psalm 127:1

Wisdom has built her house; she has hewn out it's seven pillars. She has prepared meat and mixed her wine; she has also set her table. She has sent out her maids, and she calls from the highest point in the city. "Let all who are simple come in here!" She says to those twho lack judgement. "Come, eat my food and drink the wine I have mixed. Leave your simple ways and you will live; walk in the way of understanding........ The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer'. Proverbs 9: 1-6, 10-12

I've been thinking a lot about the 'building of my house'. Not in the physical sense, although I did just mow the lawn for the first time today, but more in a spiritual and emotional sense. With summer approaching, and the preparations I'm making to have my children here 'full time' all summer, I need to figure out what the tone of the summer will be. What am I going to focus on? For the last several years, I've felt trapped, tied down and controlled by various people in my life. This summer, I want to enjoy each minute with my kids. I want to savor the time I have with them. I want to lay on the grass and look up in the sky and dream, and talk, and laugh. I don't want to worry about if the clothes get dirty, or the house gets dirty or the dogs get dirty, we all wash up pretty well. I don't want to feel rushed or stressed or have a cloud hanging over us. I have the opportunity to create a new tradition, to let the little things go, and really live. I want to be wise with the time I am given with my children. I want to impact them in a way that will help them be better, stronger, more balanced people as they move into their teenage years. I want a relationship with them where they can talk to me honestly, because they know I will really listen and react first and foremost with love for them.

My prayer is that the Lord will build my house, and that I will listen to wisdom.

Life is good

Tonight I'm feeling incredibly blessed. I have friends, near and far, who are genuinely concerned about me, and I them. My children are healthy and happy, and well-adjusted. My job is pretty good, I wish my profession paid more, but that's another blog entry all together. I have friends from Church, friends in my neighborhood. I have a full life.


Today I spent half the day painting picnic benches, cleaning up trash, moving branches and herding 50 teenagers around a huge state park area near where I work for a school wide community service day. It was freezing, it was hard work, but I'm grateful we did it. It makes our town look so much better. I hope the kids learned some good things about taking pride in where you live.

Now, I'm going to go take a bubble bath and soak away the soreness in my muscles. Life is Good.

Band Geek

Tonight I got to go to my oldest daughter and my son's band concert. Granted, it's 6th and 7th grade band (the 8th grade played too, but my kids weren't in it) and they're nervous and just learning how to hold their instruments and how to not squawk on the notes, and how to keep rhythm (my daughter plays the clarinet and my son plays the drums) but they're so darn cute!! My son looked so handsome in his suit coat and spiky gelled hair (ala Don Johnson in Miami Vice) and my daughter looked lovely in high heels and a spring skirt.

Ok, I'll admit it. Deep down, I'm a band geek. I love watching the director wave his arms around. I love that breathless anticipation when the instruments come up to 'ready'. I love hearing the cacophany created by fledglings as they bravely work their way through a piece of music. I tried band in 5th grade and just didn't really click with it. I play the piano, but not very well. I do, however have a decent voice, and a good ear. My kids have definitely got the music gene instrumental and vocal and I'm thrilled. My brother is an amazing instrumentalist and I loved growing up hearing him play anything from the piano to the trombone all the way through the low brass down to the Tuba. When Russ, my brother, was in Drum and Bugle Corp, I think I fell in love with the big brass sound. I could listen to Drump Corp music anytime. The thrill of the show is riveting and the music pounds through my body. It's addicting. Maybe I'll take the kids to a DCI show this summer.

Core Values

So, I've been working on a little exercise today. In a book I'm looking through, it asks you to define your core values. Not just define them, but rank the top 10. This is actually harder than it looks. Partly because there are a lot of things I value in a relationship, in myself, in life in general. So, I took some time today to think about these things and what they really mean to me. This is not only what I'm looking for in a relationship, but it's what I expect of myself. These are things I'm actively working on. Here's my list.



1. Authenticity/ Honesty/Openness - Being who you are and being open about it (volunteering information) as well as honest about it (being truthful when asked).

2. Faith/Spirituality/Godliness - Believing in something greater than yourself, Believing that God is out there somewhere and made us, and specifically, having a personal relationship with Jesus, and actively pursuing a deeper understanding and relationship with God.

3. Commitment /Dependability - Sticking with it even when it's hard. Doing what you say you're going to do, even when it's hard.

4. Sensual/Sexual - Having a healthy understanding and response to sexual desires. A healthy sexual appetite and being confident enough to know what you like and letting your partner know what those preferences are.

5. Truth/Integrity - Telling the truth in a way that does not demean the other person. Holding yourself to standards where you will not be dishonest in the little things in life.

6. Playful/Creativity/Musical - knowing how to cut loose and have fun, joke around, play, laugh, enjoy life. Being creative in art, photography, music or another creative outlet.

7. Kindness/Compassion - genuine concern over the physical, emotional, spiritual or mental condition of other people, or animals. Being gentle with those around you when the situation requires gentleness.

8. Self-Awareness - knowing who you are, and being ok with that. Not swayed by other people's desires or interests. Being true to yourself, and knowing your own flaws and areas that need growth.

9. Learning/Intelligence/Curiosity - Seeking new ways in which to view the world, or information, or learn a new skill. Thinking critically about situations, or events, or ideas. Being able to find out more information about a topic, or bring a new perspective to a discussion.

10. Peaceful - Someone who craves and enjoys peace. Who strives to live at peace with friends and neighbors and actively creates harmony in relationships.

Busy

Just a quick update. It's been a busy few days for me and I haven't had anything really profound to say, not that I always need to be profound, but this blog is sort of a way to delve deep into those inner thoughts and do some introspection. Anyway, My daughter had a track meet on Saturday, and I went and sat in the sun and wind and cheered and watched and took photos and packed lunch and had a good day. She did pretty well in a field of 20 or 30 competitors in each event, she took 8th in the 880, 9th in discus and 11th in the mile. The kid can run. :) Then I packed up my bags and headed for the mountains. I've been at the State Future Business Leaders of America Conference since Sunday. I brought 7 students, 2 competitors, 2 delegates and 3 candidates for state office. The competitors didn't make it past preliminaries, the delegates attended a lot of workshops, and one of my candidates was selected as a State Officer. This means, we will be hosting and organizing the District competition in February 2009. It means a lot of hard work, organization and in general responsibility. I think we're up for it. When I get back home, things will be in full swing with the play. Opening night is May 1. Wish for broken legs :)

In all this busyness, it's been nice just to be in the mountains, to soak up the sights and let it soothe my soul. Even in the midst of the hectic stuff, it's good to just 'be'.

Waiting.

I have a hard time waiting for things. My personality says “let’s DO something, let’s MAKE it happen, give it a NUDGE or, maybe even a SHOVE”. Right now, there’s nothing I can do to make any of these things GO FASTER. I can’t GET THROUGH it any SOONER. That’s hard for me. Don’t ever pray for patience. God will give you ample opportunity to practice.

Walking

Tonight I went for a long walk. I walked all around my neighborhood. I walked down to the store and bought a neck massager and a heating pad (I've had a headache moving around my head for the last few days, I'm hoping to drive it out). The air was warm, without much wind. I think it got up to 90 here today. I greeted people I know, smiled at those I don't and took deep cleansing breaths. I've heard you're supposed to take 10 deep breaths like that every day. I'm going to try to remember to do that. Right now, at 8:40 pm it's still 68 degrees outside. People are still out enjoying the day. I can hear neighbors laughing, the sounds of basketballs hitting the pavement, dogs barking, children playing, I hear LIFE. It's a good reminder to me.

I'm not sure why, but I feel like the world is crashing in. I'm more stressed out than I've been in a long time, even though most of my projects are going pretty well. I think it's just really starting to hit me, I'm in this all alone. There's not someone to come home to and just 'be' with. I miss that. I miss sitting across from someone on the couch, I miss togetherness. When I get upset or angry, or frustrated, there's not someone to calm me down, rub my back, brush my hair and soothe me. Self-soothing only goes so far. Plus, that sounds kind of weird and it's hard to rub your own back.

Walking works though. I feel so much better afterward. I'm trying to be grateful for what I have, and not dwell on what I don't. I need to clear my head, clear my heart, my mind and just let go. When I was part of an online community that focused on healthy living years ago, we did something that I think I'll start again. We listed 5 things we were grateful for. It's a good focusing exercise.

So, today I am grateful for:
1. Warm, sunny weather in which to walk.
2. Friends near and far who care about how I'm doing.
3. Neck massagers and heating pads.
4. Meatloaf.
5. scented candles.

416..

I'm saddened, enraged, confused and all around just sick about this polygamy and custody situation in Texas. I think I'm speechless.

Progress in the Hood

We have sets primed, we have 3/4 of the costumes figured out!! YEAH!!! So, despite losing 1 1/2 days to snow, I think we're going to be ok. The local community theater group will be done tomorrow night and we can start getting lights and sound figured out. If we have sets and costumes done at the end of this week, I'll be a happy camper. Then we just gotta rehearse the crap outta it. I swear, I'm never doing this again. I've aged 5 years from this whole thing.

Remain

Those who can remain.. are a rare breed. I don’t necessarily mean win, I just mean remain. Hang in there. Finish. Stick to it until it is done. But, unfortunately, very few of us do that. Our human tendency is to quit too soon. Our human tendency is to stop before we cross the finish line. (No Wonder They Call Him The Savior ~ Max Lucado)

I had a long conversation with my dad yesterday about sticking to things. It was mainly in the context of my now defunct marriage. He believes I stayed too long in a really abusive and bad situation. I tried to explain that I needed to stay until I knew I’d done everything I possibly could to salvage it. Partly because I needed to be able to completely move on afterward with no guilt and no regret, and I have. Partly because I promised myself I’d never be the one to call it quits, and I wasn’t. I can walk confidently away from that situation knowing I did all I could, and knowing I have the strength of character to stick it out, even when it’s really hard, horrible and everyone else is telling you to get out. I know I have sticking power.

In general though, people don’t stick around much. I’m not sure we’re teaching the next generation that sticking with something even when it’s hard is worth it. We put them in little league, where everyone’s a winner, and nothing hurts or is disappointing, and when they’re tired of it, or just don’t want to make the effort to go to practice or games, we let them out of it. Then we wonder why we have a huge generation of folks who can’t seem to stick to a committed relationship. It’s because they didn’t practice sticking it out in all those little things growing up. When the going got tough, they got going. No Pain = No Pain in their eyes. “Please, just let my life be comfortable and easy” is their motto. I want to yell at them “grow up!” Life is not always sunshine and roses. It’s not always easy and peaceful. Sometimes life is full of disappointment. It’s full of waiting for something that never quite materializes. Sometimes, life is no fun. But, at the other end, if you endure, if you remain, if you’re faithful and steadfast, you come out a whole, complete, beautiful creation with God’s fingerprints all over.

“Jesus said, 'Remain in me, and I will remain in you.'” John 15:4

I know you're probably getting tired of snowman pictures, but this is what I found after I came home from church today, and it just seems to fit this blog post. I can't beileve it has remained standing for this long!!

Endurance

My neighbors and I have had a good time watching the slow demise of my snowman (we've decided it's a she, because she's one tough broad). Anyway, she's survived a 60 degree day, another rain/snow shower and is still er.. pretty much standing. I know, not much excitement around these parts, so you've got to take what you can get.

On the other hand, she's really taught me an object lesson. She was built really solidly, a HUGE almost square base and solidly packed snow. She's survived quite a bit. She seems a lot like me. :)

Snow Day!

So, when life gives you lemons, you're supposed to make lemonade. Well, around here, when Mother Nature gives you snow, you make snowmen.

Last night I got the call at around 8:00 that we weren't going to have school today. That was awesome. I did the happy dance and everything. So, this morning I got out and shoveled off my driveways, my patio and my sidewalks and with the help of a little ingenuity, I got this 5'2" snowman built. It's hard to build a snowman taller than yourself I've decided, and since I can only boast 5'4", this just had to do.

Later today, I'm going to do some baking. My neighbors across the street both have birthdays (today and tomorrow), so I thought I'd give them something sweet to celebrate. Life is good. :)

April *brrr* Showers

Ok, despite popular opinion, this is NOT what it's supposed to look like in April here. April showers are supposed to be RAIN showers, not snow. Today we had the first 'snow day' from school all year. After a treacherous drive 27 miles to school, I was there for 3 and a half hours and they sent us home. The 27 mile drive back home was less scary because there had been more traffic on the roads. This weather is crazy! I don't believe in global warming. :)

Greeting.

Every day when I drive to and from work, a guy in a little red car waves at me. I always wonder if he really has any idea who I am. I have no idea who he is, but this week I’ve started waving back. I don’t know why, but it makes me smile, and really, isn’t that the whole purpose?

Baby Steps.

Things are starting to come together through baby steps, slow, continuous growth. I love it when I can see progress. Today a lot of progress was made on the play I’m directing. We produced flyers for the play and started distributing them. We got the flats for the set moved from the storage building they were in to the shop where we can work on them, and we started getting the last of the props together. The set is actually pretty cool. Four triangles on casters is our main backdrop. Each side of the triangle is painted with a different scene, so for a total scene change, all we have to do is rotate the triangles. It’s pretty cool. Costumes are still a bit of a nightmare for me, but through providence, I have a lead on some great costumes we might borrow (or at least someone who might help sew). We were able to get into the sound booth today and I got to look at the sound and light boards and see the diagrams of where lights are focused, so I have a good idea of what lighting needs to be done. We’ve got the music figured out for the most part, I just need to edit some of it down a bit so it’s not too long for the set changes. I’m really thankful I didn’t take on a really huge production, but I hope the kids will feel like this was one of their best performances, experiences, etc. and that most of all, they will take pride in what they did and look back on it in years to come with fond memories. After all, that’s what high school is all about right? Making memories, and learning to find your wings.

Music

Do you remember the song that was playing when.........

You danced with your crush in jr high/high school?
You looked into someone else's eyes and your heart flipped?
You had your first (or best) kiss?

Why is music so important to us? This question has been rolling around in my head for a while. To answer it, as best I can, I'm going to go back to the Bible study I just finished. It was over the Psalms, and as most people know, the Psalms were actually songs. It was not only a means of remembering, but as someone put it, music can express what your soul means, that mere words can't alone convey.

Music reaches deep down into my soul and releases those pent up emotions that I could never express in words alone. Something about the harmonies, melody, haunting, sweet, seductive, worshipful, joyous, melancholy, angry, confused, anxious, pensive. All those ranges of emotion used to convey different meaning to mere words.

Music has always been an important part of my life. For many years, I didn't sing, or play, and I lost part of myself. In the last few years, I've had opportunities to re-connect with that part of myself and start singing and playing again.

Recently, I've also started really enjoyed listening to scores from musicals. For the most part, my children don't enjoy watching musicals (although my daughters watched all of "Cats", which I couldn't stand). Sometimes I feel like I'd like my life to be set to music. There are definitely songs that perfectly describe my life.
I'm going to add this meme on here, just because it fits the topic. The rules are:
1. Open your music player
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Hit 'next' for each question on the list
4. Don't cheat or try to be cool, just put what song randomly comes up.


Opening Credits: Precious Love - Newsboys
Waking Up: Every Story is a love Story - Aida
First Day At School: I Can Do Better than That - The Last 5 years
Falling In Love: Joy - Newsboys
Breaking Up: Bandora's Box - Lysa Lynne
Prom: Don't Tell Me You Love Me - Night Ranger
Life is Good: Let the Kingdom Come - Whiteheart
Mental Breakdown: Jesus, Lover of My Soul - Wow worship Red Disc
Driving: Four in the Morning - Night Ranger
Flashback: Puppies everywhere - 101 Dalmations soundtrack (? don't ask me!) :)
Getting Back Together: Entertaining Angels - Newsboys
Wedding: Easy as Life - Aida
Paying the Dues: A Miracle Would Happen/When you came home to me - The last 5 years
The Night Before The War: Nothing but the best - Whiteheart
Final Battle: Bird on a wire - Out of the Grey
Moment of Triumph: Lifelines - Out of the Grey
Death Scene: Rosa Mystica - Kitaro
Funeral Song: Written in the Stars - Aida
End Credits: Make a Joyful noise - David Crowder

Interesting. :) Give it a try.

Good Neighbors

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.
~ Arthur Baer

In my life, I've been fortunate enough to have really great neighbors wherever I've lived.
Growing up, Michelle and Kenny lived next door, and though they went to a different school, we had a lot of fun. Tami lived catty corner across the street. She and I were friends clear until we graduated from high school. We still keep in touch at Christmas.

When I was in college, I lived in several basement apartments and always got along well with the upstairs neighbors. Which was amazing considering one set had a 2 year old boy.

When I was first married, we lived next to Kim, who asked me to go with her to help her on the closing of her house. She and I would take walks every morning. Not only was she a friend, she was a sister in Christ. I was fortunate enough to see her last weekend when I stopped by the old neighborhood we lived in.

When we moved to Wyoming, we had neighbors that our kids grew up with. Their daughter, Kari, is still one of my oldest daughter's best friends.

When I moved back to Colorado I had fantastic neighbors in both the townhouse I lived in when I was single and then the neighbors I had when I got remarried and we bought our house. Today I got a package in the mail from one of those neighbors, Kevin, who just wanted to see how I was doing in my new place. He'd just come back from a trip, and picked me up something while he was there. How thoughtful of him! I usually watched his guinea pig while he was out of town, so I guess old habits die hard there. ;)

My current neighbors, Leon and Carolyn, came over today and lent me a shovel and a broom to help me get my huge piles of leaves and trash out of the yard. Now that the snow has all melted and I can get out and do some yard work I'm realizing how few tools I actually have. Later on, Leon will bring over a ladder to help me hang some things high up in the wall I can't reach with my step ladder. They also watched my dogs when I went on vacation. We're going to share flowers and cuttings this spring and fall and watch the birds together. I'm looking forward to it.

The Bible talks a lot about neighbors. In the old testament there are lots of rules on how to live next to someone. In the new testament we are admonished by Jesus himself to 'love our neighbors as ourselves' which is the second greatest commandment. We are told to rejoice with our neighbors, to be a neighbor like the Good Samaritan. Here in the blogsphere, I have a lot of neighbors. Some people visit here in my little world every day, some a little less often, but whenever you have a chance to drop on by, I'm glad you do. So, neighbor, I'm glad we're friends. Drop by my little place here anytime.

How You Live

I've been asked to sing in a trio at church. That's exciting, I've missed singing since I moved. The song we're going to sing is "How you live" by Point of Grace. The lyrics are fantastic and I'm excited to be invited to sing. Of course, it got me to thinking about all the things I SHOULD do and don't. I've been trying lately to call friends more, send more real mail, take time to dance and be silly with my kids. Life does tend to get in the way though, and it's a good reminder that it's not who you know, not what you did, but how you live.

A Woman Should Have...

I'm blatantly stealing this from someone else's blog. But, I really think it's true, and the older I get, the truer it is.


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
something perfect to wear if her employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a youth she’s content to leave behind…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to
retelling it in her old age…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE…
a feeling of control over her destiny…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to fall in love without losing herself…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
when to try harder and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that she can’t change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
that her childhood may not have been perfect… but its over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
how to live alone even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
whom she can trust,
whom she can’t,
and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
where to go…
be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…
or a charming inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…
what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…and a year…

This poem has often been attributed to Maya Angelou but actually it is by Pamela Redmond Satran.

Just the way you are...

Today a girl friend of mine and I were talking about a relationship she's in. It's difficult, it's frustrating, and she's barely hanging on some days, but the relationship is worth the effort because her honey loves her for herself and she doesn't have to be anyone other than who she is. She's decided to tough it out, and keep working on it, because what she's found is so rare. I'm rooting for her.

Then, on the way home tonight, I heard the Billy Joel song "I love you just the way you are". I really listened to the words and it meant a lot to me. In my life, there have been very few people whom I believe love me just for me. My parents do, my children do, I have certain friends that do. Most significant though, I'm finally on that list. I know I have some rough edges, I know there are situations I wish I'd handled better. Perfectionism whispers insistently and points out all my failures (and those negative voices from the past don't help much) but I'm slowly learning to tune them out, and to hear "I love you just the way you are" from a variety of voices in my life. That doesn't mean I'll quit working on those rough edges, but it's sure nice to know that I'm loved because I'm me.

Levity Brevity

So, it's April 1st. And besides Mother nature pulling a prank and having March come in like a lamb and go out like a lion this year, nothing yet has happened on this traditionally prank-filled day. As I was growing up, my mom and brother would always pull pranks on me. Usually, my mom would do something sneaky at breakfast like giving us tea rather than apple juice, and putting cotton balls inside biscuits replacing sugar with salt, all those things. My brother one time set up an elaborate prank involving marionettes, tape recorders and lighting. My son has caught this April Fool's fever, and I'm sure when I get home today he'll have something up his sleeve (and since my prankster mother is visiting, I'm sure she'll help him). If you're looking for some information on where April Fool's Day started, or need some tom-foolery inspiration, check out the links below.

Wikipedia
Learning Haven

April Fools.Com
Practical Jokes for the whole Family