Incomplete

"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists. When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be; incompleteness in absence."
- Goncourt

Have you ever read a really really great book, only to find out later, that there was a prequel.. or that a sequel was coming out. Then, after reading the companion book having a whole new perspective on the story? From that point on, you can't even remember the two parts of the story separately they're so intertwined. While each book is fantastic on it's own, it takes on a whole new meaning, is more interesting and has more depth when paired with the second.

I've hated the movie quote "You complete me" from Jerry Maguire for a long time. I've run from the idea that you need someone else to be complete. After all, I'm a strong, independent woman. I'm smart. I'm capable. I'm resourceful. I can make it on my own. I don't 'need' someone else to be whole. As someone who has survived two really co-dependent marriages I didn't want to 'need' anyone again. But, in those relationships, I couldn't 'survive' without the other person, or so I thought.

In a book I'm reading by M Gary Neuman, it says

"Needing your spouse doesn't mean becoming dependent in a way that will trap you, reduce you or make you into someone you don't want to become. Needing your spouse is a way to experience greater warmth and love in life as your perspective broadens and you learn to share yourself and receive the gift of warmth from one who loves you dearly."

This is a concept I'm mulling over, but it seems to hold true in my own life. Seeing the world through someone elses eyes, hearing their perspective on life, listening to their experiences and how they've come to believe in certain truths is an amazing and rewarding experience. It makes my own story that much more interesting. Their story has now become intwined with mine and we are both better for it.