Today, it has been one year since "M" (second husband) set forth the final ultimatum and the decision to divorce was made. As I sat at the Christmas concert last night for my youngest, and the 4-6 grade choir sang this song, I thought, wow.. what a year it's been. So much has happened. I looked around the auditorium and saw the faces of people who were strangers a year ago, who are now friends. As my older two children sat behind me with their Dad, I thanked God that not only have I been there for all their 'stuff' (I'll attend their band concert tonight) but that some measure of healing has happened between their dad, "S", (my first husband) and me.
As the song goes on to say, "measure in love... seasons of love". This past year has been a season of learning to love myself, getting to know myself again, and being content with who I am. This is a different kind of love than I've ever experienced, and if going through all that has happened in the past 9+ years is what needed to happen to bring me here, then I'm glad for all the years where there wasn't that love. It makes what I have now that much more amazing.
This year, the season of hope, peace, joy, grace and love is more real to me than it's ever been. As I look forward to spending time this Christmas with my children, my extended family, and with those I love, God's presence is very near. I hope that for everyone I know, they will find a measure of that hope, peace, joy, grace and love for themselves. It's been a good way to measure a year.
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