Loved

My kids are really truly amazing people. Each of them has their own special talents and interests, and each of them has their own way of communicating with me. I love that my 13 year old son still like for me to hug him (just not in front of the guys mom) and that my oldest daughter likes 'girl talk' and my youngest daughter, is always up for a walk or an adventure with me. Having them around more has been great this year. As summer approaches, I'm glad we have a big trip planned, but am sort of at odds with what I will do when they're at their dad's house for a significant period of time in the summer. I need to learn to enjoy the moments I have them here, rather than worrying about what I'll do when they aren't.

Feeling Good

April was a hard month for me. I was extremely busy, and really didn't take time for myself like I should have. It also means Easter candy which has been the downfall of many many diet attempts on my part. This year was no exception. So, with April out of the way, and summer quickly approaching (yay!) I'm starting to make some changes in my weekly habits. The first change is that I'm moving more. I'm walking, outside working in my yard, and also doing work out dvd's. I've noticed that I feel better about myself when I exercise. Maybe it's the endorphins, maybe it's just because I'm taking care of me, but I like it. I'm going to keep doing it.

The other thing I'm doing is setting small (6 weeks at a time) goals for weight loss. I get overwhelmed when I think about 4 or 5 or 6 months down the road, but 6 weeks I can do and 10 pounds at a time is something reasonable in 6 weeks. If I do more, great! But, I think I can stick to this. I need to use the time I have wisely, and part of that is getting away from the computer and outside. So, with that said, I think I'll walk to church this morning. Yard work is on the agenda this afternoon.

Have a great day!

Fenced

YAY! My fence is back up and secure. I can't express my thanks to the guys who came and helped me build this enough. Not only did they dig the post holes I was struggling to dig in about 15 minutes, but they helped get the whole fence built in one day. I'm glad to have a few friends up here in the middle of nowhere. So, the doggies are happy to be able to run around again, and I'm happy they can too. The level of energy those dogs have is amazing, they were definitely born to run.

Spring

Well, It's springtime here again, which means: SNOW!! (and WIND.. which equals Blizzard!) This week my children had their first snow day from school. They may have their second one tomorrow. I am on Spring Break, so no interruption in my school schedule, and it's been nice to get some things done around the house. One thing I didn't count on, however, was needing to entirely rebuild 50 feet worth of privacy fence. I'm done with the tearing down process, but haven't even really started on the putting back up process. I don't know that it will get done before Monday when I have to go back to school, but I'll get it done eventually. I sort of have to! The dogs can't live in the garage forever. :)

Perfect

I, like many moms I know, struggle with 'perfection'.. not that I'm perfect and struggle with it, but that I EXPECT myself to be perfect and to do things perfectly and beat myself up when I can't quite measure up to my own expectations. While that may sound like a really lame thing to worry about, it's something that I'm trying to 'let go' of. Trying to be perfect all the time stresses me out. It makes me cranky and impatient and it stresses my kids out too. I'm trying to let go a little. My life doesn't always have to work out the way I planned (in fact, it rarely does) and I learn to adapt quickly when I'm teaching, so I need to carry that over into the rest of my life.. and just let go a little.. The problem is, I'm sort of an 'all or nothing' kind of person, so I'm afraid that if I let go too much I'll end up not doing anything well. It's all a balance.

Today I heard the song "Perfect" by Sara Evans (on Pandora radio, if you don't listen, you should.. it's personalized radio.. how cool is that?) The words were some that I need to keep in mind, in every area of my life.

If you don't take me to Paris
On a lover's getaway
It's all right, it's all right
If I'd rather wear your t-shirt
Than a sexy negligee
It's all right, it's all right
Every dinner doesn't have to be candlelit
It's kinda nice to know that it doesn't have to be

[Chorus]
Perfect
Baby every little piece
Of the puzzle doesn't always fit
Perfectly
Love can be rough around the edges tattered at the seams
But honey if it's good enough for you
It's good enough for me
If your mother doesn't like
The way I treat her baby boy
It's all right, it's all right
If in every wedding picture
My daddy looks annoyed
It's all right, it's all right
Don't you know that all the fairy tales tell a lie
Real love and real life doesn't have to be

[Repeat Chorus]

You don't mind if I show up late for everything
And when you lose your cool it's kinda cute to me
Ain't it nice to know that we don't have to be

[Repeat Chorus]

It's good enough for me (perfect)
Yeah good enough for me (perfect)
Good enough for me (perfect)

Miracles

I never thought I'd be able to say that my ex (the one I have kids with) and I are friends. But, in the past few weeks, with all that is transpiring in his life, and by extension, my life, we've built some bridges. His wife and I have been communicating frequently, we're getting to know each other on a personal basis, rather than as 'the step-mom'. She's a remarkable woman. I'm fortunate to be able to get to know her this way. It's amazing to see the peace that has come over my children as a result.

Romans 17 -19 Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." ~ The Message