Funk

I've been in sort of a funk all day. I think it's because I woke up angry. I'm angry because I dreamt about the ex last night, and dreamt he was belittling me, making snide comments to me at a family gathering. Whether this was just a vivid memory (because there were many instances like this) or a dream, I'm not sure. This all came about because of an email he sent yesterday. It's amazing how one little snide comment, one assumption made about how I feel can dredge up hurts I thought were long dealt with. I'm realizing that some wounds are deep, it takes time for them to fully heal. More than anything I *want* to fully heal, but it's a longer process than I expected. I wish I could just purge my memory and soul from the negativity he brought (and continues to try to bring) into my life. I try to remember the good times, think of good qualities about him, and forgive. It's harder than it sounds.